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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?